Braaihemian Rhapsody – Braai a Mango T-shirt

*update:* You can now buy the T-Shirt here
braai a mango t-shirtEvery now and then something gets sent to me via mail or shared with me on social media that really tickles my funny-bone. This was the case with this T-Shirt… so I modified it slightly and posted it to Facebook. Right away the calls to print and make them available for buying them were overwhelming. Equally overwhelming were my friends that gave me kak for the ear-worm I had just planted. One of my buddies even decided I needed to finish the rest of the song as a form of punishment for what I’d done to her… #ChallengeAccepted 🙂
It seemed like fun… and besides, except for chilling around the pool and braaing, I had nothing else to do that day… so I got cracking.
I spent the rest of the day writing what I thought were awesome lyrics for the Braaihemian Rhapsody… my girlfriend disagreed 🙂

So I got to thinking:
braai a mango t-shirt 2Most of my great ideas come from either copius amounts of beer or from you guys, and instead of me having all the fun, I’m hoping you guys will be keen to help me write the greatest braai song known to man.

The original, as well as my suggested new, lyrics can be found in the table below. Your job is to find some alternate lyrics and leave them in the comments section below. I’ll pick my favourites (and if we’re lucky even get a few of my muso friends to sing it for us)… and if I choose your lyrics, I’ll send you one of the shirts once they are available (expecting that to be around the end of October/mid-November).

Original LyricsNew Lyrics
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I’m easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me, to me.
Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away.
Mama, ooh,
Didn’t mean to make you cry,
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.
Too late, my time has come,
Sent shivers down my spine,
Body’s aching all the time.
Goodbye, everybody, I’ve got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.
Mama, ooh (anyway the wind blows),
I don’t wanna die,
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.
I see a little silhouetto of a man,I see a little silhouette of a man,
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, on my shirt, on my shirt, 
will you do the Fandango?why’s he braaing a mango?
|will he braai me a mango?
| and he’s braaing a mango
Thunderbolt and lightning,Boerewors and Brandy,
Very, very frightening me.Very, Very Handy… Please!
(Galileo) Galileo.(Chicken Mayo) Chicken Mayo
(Galileo) Galileo,(Chicken Mayo) Chicken Mayo
Galileo FigaroChicken Mayo, Tuna Mayo
| Chicken Mayo, Oh Fuck No
Magnifico.L-M-F-AO ooooo
I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me.
He’s just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go. (Let him go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let him go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let me go!)
Will not let you go. (Let me go!)
Never, never let you go
Never let me go, oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, mama mia, mama mia (Mama mia, let me go.)
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me.
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
Oh, baby, can’t do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.
(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me.
Anyway the wind blows.

So… please help me out: Leave a comment with the original line(s) as well as your new braai lines and let’s get this song written.

*update:* You can now buy the T-Shirt here

12 thoughts on “Braaihemian Rhapsody – Braai a Mango T-shirt

  • Is this the real life?
    Is this just fantasy?
    Caught in a landslide,
    No escape from reality.

    =

    Does he have a steak knive,
    or is it just fantasy,
    caught in a land that,
    there’s no escape from braaitality

  • Is this fire alive
    Or is it jist smoking
    Caught in a land
    Where there’s no escape from the baai mentality

    Open your eyes (if theres not too much smoke)
    Look at the skies and see

    Im just a braaiboy
    On need of a kooltjie

    Its on the grid
    And on the go

    Baie warm
    Bietjie low

    Everywhere the smoke blows
    Doesn’t really matter to me

  • Is this fire alive
    Or is it jist smoking
    Caught in a land
    Where there’s no escape from the baai mentality

    Open your eyes (if theres not too much smoke)
    Look at the skies and see

    Im just a braaiboy
    On need of a kooltjie

    Its on the grid
    And on the go

    Baie warm
    Bietjie low

    Everywhere the smoke blows
    Doesn’t really matter to me

    Mamma throw away the pan
    Put a black hoedjie on my head

    Started a vuurtjie
    And its still not dead

    Mamma ek soek
    Nog rum

    But now its gone
    I swallowed ot all away

  • Original: new:

    Is this the real life? Pass me the braai-tang
    Is this just fantasy? Pour me some whiskey/brandy
    Caught in a landslide, Cant wait much longer
    No escape from reality. Almost time for the rugby

    Open your eyes, Prepare the slaai
    Look up to the skies and see, The tjops and the braai-brood-jies

    Mama, just killed a man, Daddy, just burnt the steak
    Put a gun against his head, Walked away to get some chips
    Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead. No its burnt to a crisp…

  • Orginal:

    Is this the real life?
    Is this just fantasy?
    Caught in a landslide,
    No escape from reality.

    New:
    I crave a real braai
    Not just imaginary
    Not a garage pie
    And nothing gluten free

    Original:

    Open your eyes,
    Look up to the skies and see,
    I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
    Because I’m easy come, easy go,
    Little high, little low,
    Anyway the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me, to me.

    New:

    Bring me some ice,
    A brandy and coke to me
    I’m just a thirsty boy, in need of brandy
    Because I wanna drink, wanna eat
    Need to taste, real meat
    Medium rare well done doesn’t really matter to me, to me

    Original:

    Mama, just killed a man,
    Put a gun against his head,
    Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.
    Mama, life had just begun,
    But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away.

    New:

    Budy, I just wanna braai
    With a salad or a bread
    And some butter, you can spread
    Frikkie, the fire’s on
    And now it’s time to bring the chops and steak

    Original:

    Mama, ooh,
    Didn’t mean to make you cry,
    If I’m not back again this time tomorrow,
    Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.

    New:

    Budy, ooh
    I didn’t mean to take it al
    I just wanna save some for tomorrow
    Make some more, make some more, a drink will make it better

    Original:

    Too late, my time has come,
    Sent shivers down my spine,
    Body’s aching all the time.
    Goodbye, everybody, I’ve got to go,
    Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.

    New:

    Too bad, it’s time to go
    Really enjoyed all the food
    Thank you, everybody, it was good
    Cheers to all my friends
    See you soon, gotta go my girl’s waiting.

    Original:

    Mama, ooh (anyway the wind blows),
    I don’t wanna die,
    I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.

    New:
    Budy, ooh
    Just one thing you should know
    If things get rough just do the tango

  • I crave a real braai
    Not just imaginary
    Not a garage pie
    And nothing gluten free

    Bring me some ice,
    A brandy and coke to me
    I’m just a thirsty boy, in need of brandy
    Because I wanna drink, wanna eat
    Need to taste, real meat
    Medium rare well done doesn’t really matter to me, to me

    Budy, I just wanna braai
    With a salad or a bread
    And some butter, you can spread
    Frikkie, the fire’s on
    And now it’s time to bring the chops and steak

    Budy, ooh
    I didn’t mean to take it al
    I just wanna save some for tomorrow
    Make some more, make some more, a drink will make it better

    Too bad, it’s time to go
    Really enjoyed all the food
    Thank you, everybody, it was good
    Cheers to all my friends
    See you soon, gotta go my girl’s waiting.

    Budy, ooh
    Just one thing you should know
    If things get rough just do the tango

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